


Memories

by LokisStars



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, But also not, Canon Compliant, Gen, Gender Neutral Kid, Hurt No Comfort, May have messed up once or twice but forgive me, Or I tried, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solavellan Fluff Friday, They had a kid before Solas left, War, We Die Like Men, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokisStars/pseuds/LokisStars
Summary: Solas and Lavellan had laid together once, right before the fight against Corypheus. Right before Solas disappeared.Who knew that one time would produce a child?





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a oneshot but I needed to get it out.

     One of their earliest memories - ironically - isn't honestly a real-life memory at all. Despite how early in their life it happened, a dream is their earliest memory. A dream that they had when they were only two, a dream they couldn't properly explain to their mother - the Inquisitor - at such an age. But, eventually, when they were able to speak, able to properly explain to her the dream, it wasn't a pretty reaction. In fact, they hadn't planned on telling her, it slipped out. They'd been eating together in her room - a rare occasion, so rare did she have alone time to spend with them -and she'd made an offhand comment about their father. Their father - they don't know him, never met him and rarely heard about him, let alone positively, from anyone. It led to:  
     "He sounds like the man in my dreams."  
          "What dreams?"  
Confessions spilled from their lips at her wide expression - many things flittering across her face: worry, fear, hope, and anger. No, no their father wasn't a nice topic to bring up to his mother at all. After that, they were watched, not by his mother or anyone close, really. They were watched by those unnoticed - a servant delivering food, a mage letting their eyes wander a bit too often, or a soldier having their hand on their sword. Word spread quickly - even as all they did now was follow Divine Victorias will. As they searched for his father, they grew antsier. The people fear that just because of the dreams, they'd side with their father. They represented many fears: they were an elf, they were a mage, they would have a position of power, and they'd contact with the enemy. For a child, they had much to worry about, too much to keep an eye out for.  
But, they haven't even told you what happened in their dream. It was a simple dream - beautiful from what the few details they could recall. But, the location of the dream hasn't changed, only grown darker and maybe more broken as they aged. They wondered if it was because of the things they were going through, or what their father was going through. They'd never know.  
     They'd been sitting in the middle of a field - later they learned the field was on a floating island, one of many islands around them. The grass was bright, the flowers emitted a wonderful smell, but all this a child didn't care for. At their age, they were more fascinated by people like figures drifting around them - never too close, never quite there, and sometimes different colors. It made them laugh delightfully, clap their hands, try to waddle after them - almost right off the edge. Only to suddenly be in the middle of the island again, a man in front of them.  
     He was elven, skin pale as if he'd been sleeping in a cave a long time, and was dressed well. The man kneeled in front of them, far enough to be out of their reach, but close enough to see clearly. He had a soft expression with love and awe - if, as they grew older, they noticed that expression becoming sadder and more closed, they didn't mention it and locked it within themselves.  
      _"Ma'_ esha'lin."  
     That was the end of that dream, they woke as the man reached out for them. In dreams to come, things didn't progress further than that mostly. Their dreams with the man were sporadic - some had days between them before another, months sometimes, but never have they gone longer than a year before seeing them again. When they saw him, he always kept a distance while he watched, occasionally he'd call their name or make an offhand comment about their surroundings. He did not enjoy them calling him father - his expression would get so sad, and he'd turn away before disappearing. So they stopped.  
     They were twelve when they knew things were about to take a turn for the worst. While they and their mother were the only elves for miles after elves had left so long ago - suddenly they were everywhere. Cropping up in groups, attacking and disappearing. There were so much _pain_ and _fear_ , they could feel something bad in the air and they were so afraid. Their mother had to take care of it - they always did - and their goodbye had felt final. The next dream they had with their father was the worst.  
     Around them the islands were crumbling, the dead grass crunched beneath their feet, and they could hear their heart beating. The spirits around them screamed and raged, the air thrummed with magic and so many emotions blended together. They hadn't realized they were crying, till a particularly nasty sob racked their frame. Every part of them shook and ached, and suddenly a hand was on their cheek. Solas cupped their cheek, wiped their tears, and whispered words in a language they couldn't understand. It was the first time he'd touched them, and they leaned into him. His arms wrapped around them tightly.  
     "Father, _please_!" They didn't know what they were begging for.  
     "I'm sorry, vhenan." he whispered to them, smoothing their hair. " _It must be this way, Ar lath ma._ "  
     As the ground crumbled beneath them, his father vanished, and they wondered why they were born.  
When their mother returned - it was almost like she hadn't at all. She was quiet and closed off. All she'd done was hug them tightly, before disappearing into her quarters. They were alone, even more, alone than they'd ever been before. Cullen was gone, Cole was gone, Varric, and the list went on and on and it hurt. Their dreams were dark, they stood on a platform and everywhere they looked there was gray fog. Occasionally there was a whisper, a ghost of a hand then all was gone. The inquisition disbanded, and it was just their mother and them.  
     All they had were the memories.


End file.
